through the years

First day of school attire. jacket: vintage dress: thrifted socks: target shoes: bass 

I forgot what it was like to wake up at 5.30 in the morning.

my watch with unicorns

Today was the first day of my junior year, and it made me realize how much has happened in the past two years. And I'm not going to lie to you: high school is hard, but life goes on. Take it in stride.

Freshman year: When I was a freshman I realized how out of place I would be and I accepted it. I was really awkward and dorky, but who wasn't their freshman year? I got teased a lot, but it didn't bother me because unlike a lot of people in my school- I knew who I was. That year I didn't really know what 'fashion sense' meant, but I knew what made me happy and I started to expand my wardrobe and music taste. In the middle of the year I decided I wanted to be pretty and less 'dorky' so I dyed my hair blonde (I had brownish hair) and started wearing vintage dresses. Now I knew it wasn't going to be like a John Hughes movie, but I didn't think it would be so dull. I looked forward to electives (theatre, art, german) and also english and history because I find them interesting. I never looked forward to science or math. Not because I was bad at it but because I found it uninteresting and irrelevant for what I wanted to do. Freshman year I decided I didn't want to go to college and I just wanted to roam around and play drums in people's bands and sell vintage clothing.

I can feel the awkward-ness through the pictures. This was long before I straightened my hair or found products to make my hair less frizzy.

Sophomore year: I realized I wanted to go to college. Not for any particular reason, I just wanted to do it because it seemed like the right choice, and it seemed interesting. I knew I wanted to do something very interesting and I decided that I wanted to study fashion and writing because I like those things. Though I really enjoy music, I don't think I could take a class about it... Overall the year was good. I didn't feel as awkward in theatre, I could talk to people easier, and I was taking a college level class (AP). At the end of the year I took the AP World History exam and it was really difficult. I don't like tests, and I've never been good at them so I was very discouraged about taking AP the next year. Luckily I discovered that dual credit (another form of college courses) were available at my school. I was no longer discouraged. The way I dressed had started to be fitting to my personality, and my hair had started to grow out (my grandma cut it right before freshman year and it was a lot shorter than what I wanted...but that's okay! hair grows out). Even though I didn't care what people thought of me last year, sophomore year was when I was finally comfortable in my own skin.

Sophomore year was mainly me experimenting with new ways to do my hair. It was a success (I think).

Junior year: It's finally here! Just two more years! So it's junior year and I'm still awkward and dorky, but at least I'm comfortable in my own skin when it comes to clothing and personality and pretty much everything else you worry about when you're a teenager. Everything seems to be going well and I'm only worried about algebra II and physics. Even though it's only been two years I feel like I've learned a lot from high school. Being around all of the teenagers that are raging with hormones is never too dull. It's really fascinating that some of these people are my age. Some act much younger, some act much older, and of course some really act like hormone-raging sixteen year olds. Though the people at my school all dress similar, everyone's different, and I just think that's the coolest thing (even if I don't enjoy being around them). Sure a lot of teens come off as 'all the same' but I've never met anyone who's had a doppleganger. Yes, there's cliques and people try really hard to fit in (I haven't figured that one out yet) and they all seem like clones, but everyone is so unique in their own way. Whether they like it or not. You know, I don't know what'll happen this year, but I hope it'll be good, and if it's not- I'll make the best of it. No big deal.

reflection from themadmod on 8tracks Radio.